There was something oddly empowering about having a "real" diagnosis. Yes, there was the initial moment of soul crushing despair, but in time it started to feel good somehow. I knew that the only way we would get through this was to try and keep a positive attitude, hard as it was at times, and every new little piece of knowledge we picked up along the way really helped us to focus on "our plan" (rather than planning pity parties).
Proudly (ok, maybe not proudly) wearing my new big scarlet red "A", we were off to our first appointment with the male infertility specialist we had been referred to. Dr. H had a confidence about him that left me feeling almost immediately as though we had made the right choice. From what I have read, our first appointment was pretty standard fare. He did a thorough physical examination, blood work to check for potential genetic issues (like CF) and hormone levels, and a review of our history. We talked about Obstructive vs. Non-Obstructive Azoospermia and how all of these tests would help us get to the bottom of which type we were dealing with and then almost as a "by the way", he mentioned that he would like to do a TRUS...
"A TRUS?", I asked. "Yes, it is an Ultrasound of your prostate, TRUS stands for Trans-Rectal Ultrasound". I think he heard the anxious thump in my throat as I swallowed as he attempted to put my mind at ease by pointing to a condom enshrouded "apparatus" and saying, "we insert that in your rectum...it only takes about 15 minutes". He could have just as well been speaking Klingon for all I was concerned as visions of a Polaroid camera being jammed up my ass danced through my head! All I could muster was a weak, "You're going to put that where?", which got some sympathetic laughter.
In all seriousness, the procedure wasn't all that bad and I know you ladies who are used to stirrups and specula and scraping are pointing and laughing but, well, I'm mostly used to that area being an Exit lane :) The worst part was the Dr., a fellow devoted Mets fan, making small talk about the sorry state of our team while anally probing me! Awkward!
2 comments:
That does NOT sound like fun. I'd rather have my feet in stirrups ANY day. My hubby had that too, it was not pleasant! Ahhh, what you guys go through for us.
I hope you at least got some good drugs to take the edge off?? ;)
I'm sure it wasn't the thrill you were expecting!
It did make me grin though. Hopefully you get some answers soon. Here's hoping that this doc is able to find out what's up.
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