Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock

Posted by J - azoowho@gmail.com |

It has been a while since I've blogged. Bad blogger... In my defense, the holidays, the house hunting, work, and a surprisingly and suddenly popular internet side business have been chewing up my days and weeks. Sometimes the distraction of being busy is a blessing as it keeps our minds off of the roller coaster ride of infertility. Other times I just want to SLOW down, freeze tag style. It seems like lately my biggest source of consternation in our battle to get pregnant is... time (don't ever let anyone try to convince you that it is not a battle, we all have the scars to prove it). There are moments where I can actually feel it, in a very real, visceral way. The pressure of time... the feeling that I am getting older by the minute, that I am going to be too old to enjoy this by the time it happens. Irrational...probably, I am not THAT old at 36, but it feels that way. The pressure of time... wanting to give grandchildren to my parents, to L's parents while THEY can enjoy it. The pressure of time... watching my sister, L's brother, and seemingly everyone else we know having babies. The pressure of time... knowing that the insurance company only gives us so many shots at this, then what...

On a positive note, L had a good ultrasound this past weekend, two starter follicles, but L's Estrogen was down in her blood work today so back to the lab tomorrow for more blood. We are praying for some good news this coming week and hopefully our second IUI.

Tick Tock Tick Tock...