Wide Mouth Container + Sock + Paper Bag (Part 3)

Posted by J - azoowho@gmail.com |

I won't get in to too many of the gaudy deals regarding my first Semen Analysis, believe me, no wants that horrifying image burnt into their mind's eye! When I called to make the appointment I was given the option of "producing the specimen" at home or in the office. To try and reduce the anxiety and embarassment quotient a bit I decided to chose door #1 and do it in the comfort of my own home. I scheduled the appointment, was told that the specimen has to be delivered to the office less than one hour after production, and that it should be kept as close to body temperature as possible. Off I went to the local medical supply store in search of a "wide-mouth, sterile specimen container" per their instruction...

The day of my appointment arrived, no problem, I've ummm read about doing this before, it will be no problem. Of course I didn't count on waking up late, getting into an argument with my wife, and the 40 minute drive to the doctor's office, all of which left me more than a little under the gun and racked with anxiety, not exactly a good recipe for what was necessary!

Somehow I was able to do what was needed and made the walk of shame into the office. Wide mouth container shoved inside a white sock and tucked firmly in my jacket pocket. I was at my paranoid, embarassed best, I swear that every eye in the parking lot was on me. Like the nervous new kid on the first day of school, head down I shuffled in, all the while feeling the burning glares of every person I passed, each one silently saying, "we know what you just did"! Oh what fun!

A few days later I got the call from my wife's Gyn with the results, a call I will never forget. "The lab is reporting that no sperm were found in your sample, we'd like you to follow up with a Urologist".


Lorza said...

Just to say again. "THAT SUCKS!"


When my husband had to do the walk of shame- they gave him a clear plastic biohazard back to take it into the clinic. Since he has anejuactulation he has to pee in the cup...and another. So he brought in TWO cups in a clear bag. He definately got some funny looks.